POWER

Stir up Waters to Catch Fish

Angry people often appear to be rediculous, because their response seems out of proportionto that which caused it. They have take things too seriously, exagerating the hurt or insult done to them. They are so sensitive to being slighted that it is comical to others. More comical, is their belief that their outbursts signify power. The truth is the opposite. Petulance is not power; it is a sign of helplessness. People may temporarily be cowed by tantrums, but eventually tantrums cause a loss of respect. People soon realize that they can easily undermine a person with so little self-control.

Do not, however, repress angry or emotional responses. Repression drains us of energy and pushes us into strange behavior. We must change out perspective and realize that nothing in this game of power is personal.

Everyone is involved in a chain of events, which predate the current moment. Our anger often originates in our childhood, from the problems of our parents, which originate in their childhood, and so on. Our anger also has roots in the many interactions with others, the accumulated disappointments and heartaches. If an individual responds in anger to you, you must realize that the anger is not exclusively directed at you. The cause is much larger, goes back in time, involves dozens of prior hurts and is not worth the bother to understand. Instead of seeing anger as a personal attack, look at the outburst aas a disquised power move, an attempt to control you in the form of hurt feelings or anger.

The shift in perspective will allow you to play the game of power with more clarity and energy. Turn other people's loss of control to your advantage.

During an important battle in the War of the Three Kingdoms advisors to the commander of Ts'ao TS'ao discovered documents, which showed that certain of his generals had conspired with the enemy, and urged him to arrest and execute them. Instead, he ordered that the documents be burned and the incident forgotten. At this critical moment in the battle, to get upset or demand justice would have reverberated against him. An angry reaction would have called attention to the general's disloyalty, which would have harmed the troops' morale. Justice could wait - he would deal with the general, in time.

Anger only cuts off options, and the powerful can not thrive without options. When you train yourself not to take matters personally; and to control your emotional responses, you will have placed yourself in a position of tremendous power.

Finally, in the face of a hot-headed rival, an excellent response is no response. Nothing is as infuriating as a man, who keeps his cool, as others are losing theirs. If it will work to your advantage, affect the aristocratic, bored pose, neither mocking nor triumphant, but simply indifferent

Any questions??