POWER

Infection: Avoid The Unhappy And Unlucky

Those unfortunate among us, who have been brought down by circumstances beyond their control deserve all the help and sympathy we can give them. But there are others, who are not born to misfortune or unhappiness, but who draw it upon themselves by their destructive actions and their unsettling effect on others. It would be a great thing, if we could raise them up, change their patterns, but more often than not it is their patterns, which end up getting inside and changing us. The reason is simple - humans are extremely susceptible to the moods, emotions, and thinking patterns of those with whom they spend time.

Understand this: In the game of power, the people you associate with are critical. The risk of associating with infectors is that you will waste valuable time and energy trying to free yourself. Through a kind of guilt by association, you will also suffer in the eyes of others. Never underestimate the dangers of infection.

There is only one solution to infection: quarantine. The danger is that the infectious types often present themselves as victims, making it difficult, at first, to see their miseries as self-inflicted. By the time you recognize the problem, it is often too late. How can you protect yourself from such insidious viruses? The answer lies in judging people on the effects they have on the world and not on the reasons they give for their problems. Infectors can be recognized by the misfortune they draw upon themselves, their turbulent past, their long line of broken relationships, their unstable careers and the force of their character, which sweeps you up and makes you lose your reason. Be forewarned by these signs of an infector; learn to see the discontent in their eyes. Most of all, do not take pity. Do not trap yourself by trying to help. Flee the infector's presence or suffer the consequences.

The other side of infection is equally valid and perhaps, more readily understood: There are people who attract happiness to themselves by their good cheer, natural buoyancy, and intelligence. They are a source of pleasure and you must associate with them to share in the prosperity they draw upon themselves.

This applies to more than good cheer and success: All positive qualities can infect us. Talleyrand had many strange and intimidating traits, but most agreed that he surpassed all Frenchmen in graciousness, aristocratic charm and wit. He came from one of the oldest noble families and despite his belief in democracy and the French Republic, he retained his courtly manners. His contemporary, Napolean, was in many ways the opposite - a peasant from Corsica, taciturn, ungracious and violent.

There was no one Napolean admired more than Talleyrand and he kept Talleyrand around him, hoping to absorb the culture he lacked. There is no doubt that Napolean changed, as his rule continued. Many of his rough edges were smoothed by his constant association with Talleyrand.

Use the positive side of the emotional osmosis to advantage. If, for example, you are miserly by nature, associate with the generous and they will infect you, opening everything that is tight and restricted in you. If you are gloomy, gravitate to the cheerful. If you are prone to isolation, force yourself to befriend the gregarious. Never associate with those who share your defects - they will reinforce everything that holds you back. Only create associations with positive affinities. Make this a rule of life and you will benefit more than from all the therapy in the world.

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