Forgiveness of Self

Why do we have the idea that we are supposed to be perfect? If we were, we would not be here. We are here to learn the lessons. The first lesson, in our growth to becoming all that we can be, is to love and accept ourselves exactly as we are, to develop self-appreciation. The most important aspect of learning about love of self is the notion that behaviour changes, when we think of ourselves as terrific, not when we think of ourselves as not good enough.

It is the same principle to use when we want children to behave in appropriate ways. What you praise, is what you get. In other words, what you pay attention to expands. A child who misbehaves and gets attention will continue to misbehave. A similar reaction occurs with everyone because, as we are criticised, we become frightened. The more afraid we are, the more we do the very things for which we are criticised.

Practical Steps to Self-forgiveness:

1. Examine how you perceived a certain situation and how you can choose to change your perception. Remember, the thoughts we think create the feelings, and it is our perception that creates our interpretations of the situation.
2. Accept yourself and your humanity - you were not born perfect.
3. Admit when you make a mistake.
4. Remember, everybody is doing the best they can, in the present situation, with what they know, and this includes you.
5. Let go of past-future thinking, stay in the ‘Now.’
6. Confront your emotional pain - do not run away from it; deal with it.
7. Appreciate the lessons, which have contributed to your growth and made you who you are.
8. Repeat again and again, ‘I forgive myself for (whatever).’

Any questions??